


Through Your Eyes I Become

by Geradsredskittle666



Category: Numb3rs (TV)
Genre: Canon Autistic Character, Charlie Eppes has ADHD, Charlie Eppes has Autism, Identity Issues, Inventing the tags I need because I can, Larry Fleinhardt has Autism, Neurodivergent Charlie Eppes, Neurodivergent Larry Fleinhardt, Resentful Don Eppes, Sibling Rivalry, Supportive Larry Fleinhardt, Teenage Charlie Eppes, Teenage Don Eppes, actually autistic writer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geradsredskittle666/pseuds/Geradsredskittle666
Summary: Set when Charlie starts at uni. Charlie explores how he has defined himself through how others see him through a trip down memory lane. ADHD!Charlie. Autistic!Charlie. Teenage!Charlie. Teenage!Don. Resentful!Don. Neurodiverse Charlie. Nuerodiverse!Larry. Autistic!Larry. Pairings: Charlie/Don as brothers, Charlie/family, Charlie/Larry mentorship. Warnings: Sibling rivalry.
Relationships: Charlie Eppes & Don Eppes, Charlie Eppes & Larry Fleinhardt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Through Your Eyes I Become

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Numb3rs and its trademarks and other properties are not my property. I do not make and do not intend to profit from this work in any way. This work is a fan creation using these characters in a creative work intended as entertainment only.   
> I do not give permission for anyone to take this work and post it elsewhere, unless explicitly given permission from me. If linked, shared or given permission to repost in any amount of words, credit must be correctly given to me as the author of this work and the rightful owners of Numb3rs as the owners of source material.

**START**

Charlie wasn’t even a proper teenager. He was only just a teenager himself in actuality. Yet here he was, sitting in the lecture hall listening to a lecture about something or another. It was work he had covered before with his tutors. Easy stuff. He shifted in his seat, careful not to disturb anyone. Some of his much older peers looked anxiously at the bored, one girl was even close to tears. Some of his peers had even given up entirely and were sleeping on their crossed folded arms. He found it strange that not everyone had seemed to enjoy maths like he did.

He remembered finding out that his older brother was not so gifted in the same way. He had been happily multiplying 4 digit numbers and had asked brother if he knew the answer to the maths in his head...only to be met with Don’s uncomprehending eyes. It was like his brother couldn’t even begin to imagine the numbers themselves. But couldn’t everyone? Even his parents stared. Well that was one question answered. Suddenly he had felt embarrassed, like had done something wrong. Why was everyone staring at him like he was a freak? He had felt so alone in that moment. Was there no one like him in the world? Would no one understand him?

High school had fared no better. He had sped through the grades, earning the praise of his teachers and the scorn of his peers. He was relieved when he had finally graduated. He wouldn’t have to put up with another day of that hell! Still he had one regret. He had worked hard to graduate in the same year as his beloved big brother. He didn’t want his brother to be alone on the stage. At least that was his intention...judging by the hostile glare, it had not worked that way. The fight that ensured was one of the worst.

“ _Can’t you let me have anything?! Why must you steal everything from me?!”_

He had not understood. He had only tried to be a good brother. What had he taken? He was sure he hadn’t stolen anything either. But his brother had been to angry to explain properly.

“ _You stole my childhood. You stole mum! Your the reason our parents fight. You took all their attention. All their time. All their money. Did you think all those tutors were free? Did you even think to ask why I had to consider going to university under a baseball scholarship? Why do you take everything!”_

The sheer force of the anger had been enough to make him cry. It was only afterwards that he had been able to process the venomous words that had seeped into his skin and into his heart. When his parents had asked him what was wrong, he couldn’t say. How could he put into words just how bad a brother he was? How bad a person he was. He had already failed to be a good person at only 13. What would become of him now? Was maths enough to redeem him? Would it ever be? How could he prove it?

So he had searched the internet for the hardest maths problems he could find and come across the supposedly unsolvable “P vs NP”. He felt some comfort. He set his mind to the task and started scribbling away in his note book. If he could do this, no one in the world could call him unworthy! Even if he was still a bad person. A bad brother. If he solved this, he would be acknowledged for his maths skills. Even his brother couldn’t take that away.

So he had locked himself away, and felt calm again. He refused to go back to his brother for forgiveness until he had earned it.

It was a few days later that his brother had apologised, but what did that change? His brother had made a valid point. So he had refused the apology. He had said he would earn his forgiveness. It wouldn’t just be handed to him. His brother had looked concerned but said nothing.

He had gone onto university. He had received offers from around the world. Full scholarships to any university he wanted in any maths related field he wanted. The garentee of a professor position upon his completion. His life, lined up and ready to start at last. It was exciting, but his brothers words still haunted him.

“ _Did you think all those tutors were free? Did you even think to ask why I had to consider going to university under a baseball scholarship?”_

What price had his glittering future come at? He really was a bad brother. Still.

So he had chosen a local university. They had visited the campus as a family, he was only 14. The university head themselves had lead the tour, deferring to various staff members when they couldn’t answer the question.

“ _We are honoured that you are considering our university. It really would be an honour to have you in our classroom. Perhaps even as professor if you decide.”_

Honoured. The word felt strange applied to him. Why were they making such a big deal of this? He knew his maths gift made him special but honoured seemed excessive. After all, they could only see the surface, they couldn’t see the darkness that tainted his soul. They couldn’t see his brothers words etched into his heart, marking him as a bad brother. A traitor to his family. A failure.

He tried to ignore the resentment on his brothers face. He tried to pretend it didn’t matter; that he was getting his dream life and his brother was stuck to make do with the left overs. With what his brother had managed to attain on his own. It did matter.

So sitting in the seat, he felt like a fraud. He would have given it up in a heartbeat for his brother.

The lecture ended, breaking his intense daydreaming. He grabbed his shoulder bag and stuffed his book inside. He had turned to go when he heard his name called. “Mr Eppes?”

He turned, feeling guilty. He had been busted for not paying attention! He had been about to apologise when the professor smiled kindly. “Walk with me to my office. I think I should introduce myself.” he had ordered.

Feeling uneasy, Charlie followed. Would he be reported to the university head? Had he disappointed the university already on day 1? Would they think he wasn’t being serious about his studies? That he saw this as a joke? That he was mocking them? That he had intentionally chosen a more local university rather than a prestigious international university just to show how inferior this university was? Would they kick him out?

They had reached the office by now and he had already worked himself into a panic. “Take a deep breath. Your not in trouble.” he heard the professor gently instruct. He did so and found he had been practically holding his breath the whole time! “Better?” the professor had asked gently, with kind eyes.

He nodded. He was still wary.

“I wanted to talk to you about something. Your big news on campus, so I know your story. Boy genius starts university at only 14.” the professor started. “My name is Professor Lawrence Fleinhardt. University can be difficult for adults, and your so young. If it starts to feel like its too much, or you need someone to talk to, you can see me in my office. Young geniuses can burn too bright and lose their way before they really have a chance at greatness. Its okay to need help with the other things, I know you have the maths sorted.” the professor offered the young teen.

Charlie felt tears come to his eyes, he couldn’t help it. He was just so damned emotional. “Why?” came the question, unbidden, in a hushed whisper.

“Because you could be great. More than great. But it will take more than what you have now to reach greatness. You will need more than maths. You will need friends. Family. Support. People willing to take a chance on you. People who really believe in you.” Professor Fleinhardt explained.

Greatness? Was that really his future?

“ _Because you could be great.”_

He didn’t know how he felt about that. Was he scared? Nervous? It wasn’t like his mother hadn’t been telling him that since he had been small, but to hear it from a stranger was something else. This stranger believed it too!

“ _Because you could be great.”_

But just where did his brother fit in with this greatness? As usual, all roads led to Don. Where did he fit in his small part of the universe and where did he brother sit in relation...that what it all came down to. Could his brother be great too? At his future career? Had anyone ever told his brother that he could be great?

“ _Because you could be great.”_

“I don’t get it.” he finally managed to say.

The professor could see his students mind working overtime, so many thoughts and emotions crossing that young innocent face. “You won’t. Not until you get there. I don’t expect you to understand just yet. You’ve only just began.” he assured.

He found himself nodding. He supposed that could well be true.

The thought came from no where. Why him? Why had he been chosen? Why not his brother? Why was it his fate to be great? Why did it feel like a heavy weight? Not a burden exactly but not the light airy feeling he had expected. It felt unfair. Why had the worst of the brothers been chosen for greatness? Why had his brave and sacrificing brother been left behind? Where was the justice in that?!

He couldn’t help the tears that welled up. It was just so unfair! Why did his brother have to suffer like this? For something as finicky as fate and destiny? It was purely instinctive, an automatic reaction. A childs instinct, perhaps. He latched onto the professor and cried until he had run out of tears. In that moment, he didn’t care about how it looked. About how childish he appeared. He didn’t care about the inevitable embarrassment.

The professor didn’t mind at all. He didn’t know exactly what had set off the crying but he had expected it. His student was a child, barely even a teenager, and he was being told that he was destined for something beyond his understanding. That was bound to unlock something in his mind. He just securely held the boy against him, letting him know that he would always be there to help. For the whole journey. And this was the start.

AN: Read and review. Like, follow, kudos etc...you all know the drill! This story is posted on Fanfiction (dot) Net and Archive of our own under the same username. Both are me.


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